From a very young age I was one of those people that craved a deep tender love, the sort of love that is a live or die sort of love. Not the ones that are romanticised in fairy tales but the type that is rooted and solid. The sort of love that silent but really bloody noisy. The sort of love that is rooted in kindness because we want to be in each others lives always - except of course when we need time alone - then the love would create space and freedom to move and grow and change - but always returning to its foundations which really are the roots of our very survival.
This sort of love always evaded me until I put into place the tools that I needed to go in search of the love that was right for me…
Instead of just ‘putting myself out there' I worked deeply on my own values and boundaries…
I asked the universe for exactly what I wanted and I went out into the world with an open heart to search…
(Not what I thought was an open heart… but an ACTUAL open heart.)
I learnt deeply to love myself - this isn’t about polishing off positive attributes and burying everything else but this is about wearing all “positive and negative” parts of yourself with honesty and authenticity.
This is about doing the work on yourself - ALL the work on yourself … whatever that is for you… because you have that CHOICE… (and of course I say from this my seat of white middle-class western lady living comfortably because the universe supports me)
Working through your shit is not always easy but to reach that deep place where love is truly at the centre of everything you do - you have to do it.
This is not about making nice. It is not about the power of positive thinking. This is about being REAL and AUTHENTIC and owning your stuff.
I learnt to FEEL truly FEEL from my heart not from my mind/head/thoughts. I learnt to be led by my FEELINGS - led by the visceral communication between body and heart.
When l learnt to FEEL - I heard FEELINGS too - and the feelings opened my heart. This is very different thing to hearing thoughts - because thoughts and judgement and criticism closes your heart.
For sure the logical part of your brain can see putting feelings at the centre just an exercise but try it and you will feel the effects at a visceral level too.
When we express our feelings, we make ourselves more vulnerable, it becomes safer for the other person to do so as well.
We can experience intimacy only to the degree that we are willing to make ourselves vulnerable.
The more vulnerable you are the more your heart is open and the more connected you feel.
So start today...start small…
Just start with I FEEL…
Start your sentences with it,
Start your thoughts with it…
...and then begin to sense it viscerally in your body.
Make LOVE your priority and everything else will change… I promise.
Sending this with LOVE
.