"Come as you are, as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an known enemy"
These Nirvana lyrics have been circling around and around in my head for so many weeks now. Initially I had thought (being a product of this era) - growing up in the 80s and 90s means I have random automatic recall of American rock band tunes (good and bad, hard and soft). After a few weeks I realised that this was not the case, in fact these lyrics were a message, a signal, a sign from the greater powers that are.
The month of March/April for me has been a big month. It has been a month where I have pushed myself professionally to a point that is quite close to the moon.
I have spent the best part of the last month working in the IDP camps in Myanmar's Rakhine state for the Danish Refugee Council. I have been working with muslim women in the DRC's centres teaching them how to breathe and also mentoring the DRC local staff to mentor these women. Those of you that have spent time in refugee camps (wherever in the world) will know that there aren't really any words that can describe what you witness. So I am not going to try.
It is my final morning in the conflict zone as I sit and write this blog. I am yet to really process the work, the experience, the response, the future of this work, or the future of this country to be honest. But what I am sure of is that I am so glad that I have begun - I am so grateful to my guides, my hunches, my persistence and sponsors.
I had not felt ready to start. The morning I flew to Sittwe I nearly didn't get on the plane. But I couldn't procrastinate any longer.
And then there I was.
Doing it anyway.
Pulled and pushed by excitement, fear, confusion. (Evacuation on afternoon one due to fighting didn't help add to the fear.)
Pulled and pushed by the mind, by the thoughts (oh the thoughts!)